That's the thing about Hermione. She may not think she's fixing all the problems, but she's doing more than she knows. More than Harry wants to voice for fear of sounding kind of pathetic about it all. His free hand moves on top of hers, still resting atop his arm, his fingers brushing delicately over her knuckles.
It's times like this that he realizes just how much he's missed her company and goes back to those desolate times when it was just the two of them in a tent and stressed beyond belief as they did this thing more significant than all of them.
He laughs in surprise at the idea of it all, though he can't help his tone from becoming a tad self-deprecating. "Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? Can't say that teaching a few defensive spells to twenty-five students in a secret room really qualifies me."
She lingers. Physical contact, physical affection has never been difficult to have with Harry before, she's given him every hug she's ever thought he needed. But it's been years since they were hiking together on the hunt for Horcruxes, years since she last had to watch herself around Harry so as to not upset Ron, and years since she and Ron just did not work out.
So she lingers, because sometimes there's a dumb part of her that wonders if they will ever break this game of emotional chicken they've been secretly hiding from each other. Or, if it's one-sided, she'll just take it to her grave.
"You laugh, but I know McGonagall has to do with a board of directors still and I'm sure they'd all be charmed about the idea and appeal of Harry Potter teaching their children spells." After a beat, she adds, mercilessly: "You might have to do more than Expelliarmus with them, though."
Someday Harry will stop being a coward about being forward with his feelings toward Hermione, but he's afraid of making their friendship weird if things don't work out. He can't deny seeing things not working out between her and Ron had been a blessing and a curse. It had meant that she didn't have feelings for him, but that also meant there was a possibility of the same rejection. The same sad rejection he'd gotten from Cho, and then later, Ginny.
"I-- Excuse me!!!" Harry gapes, flabbergasted and sputtering. Maybe a little embarrassed as Hermione rightfully takes the piss. He can feel the warmth in the tips of his ears, but he's not really offended. "Watch your tone, 'Mione, or I'll have to Expelliarmus that tea right out of your hand. It'd be a shame, that."
He huffs, rolling his eyes as he gently kicks her foot with his own. "I'll just send an owl, shall I? 'Dear Headmistress McGonnagal, bet you thought you were finally rid of me, but actually just wondering if you had any open positions a few weeks before the school year because that's exactly what you want to deal with on short notice.' That'll go over nicely and she won't at all be annoyed by it."
She retrieves her hand from his grip now, to clutch at her tea with both hands, sniffing impetuously. "I'm the Potions Mistress, Harry, I do what I want."
She wants to flash him an amused grin. "Oh come on, you have to try now. We could delight all the student body with our continuously taking the piss out of each other like this. It's practically tradition that the Defense and Potions professors don't get along, you know?"
She has a brilliant idea now: "Let's get drunk and write that letter. I'll help you win your case."
He laments the distance between them now, covering it by going back to his own tea. Ah well, the moment is gone.
"And what makes you think the current Defense professor is going to just give up their post?" His eyebrows raise at the idea of getting drunk, but less so about the thought of writing an embarrassing letter to the Headmistress begging for a job when he's already got one that's serving him well. He just needs to be a bit more grateful is all. How many people would kill to be in his position at the Ministry?
But he can't deny the idea is taking root in his head. "I've got some wine in the storeroom if you like. We can take it up to what used to be the drawing room. Give you the opportunity to see the changes."
"There is no current Defense professor," she tells him, with full honesty. "Once the school year is over, he's moving to the States to pursue a Mastery in Dark Creature Hunting, which is - " She scrunches up her nose in distaste. Needless to say, with the way Hermione is about magical creatures rights, she does not get along with the current professor.
But this wasn't planned. Just serendipitous. The longer she thinks about it, the more the idea has value.
"Alright, let's do that." She's done with her tea. "I'm done with my tea. And I haven't had a drink in months, with the way the Great Hall is."
"Huh. Can't see what someone would enjoy in a profession like that, but okay, I guess." Maybe it's because this professor didn't fight in the war. Maybe he did, but Harry can't relate to wanting to make hunting Dark Creatures a career. Like most creatures, leave them alone and they won't bother you.
It does give him something to think about as he leads Hermione past the storeroom to grab a few bottles of wine (just in case it doesn't sate their thirst) and to the newly-decorated drawing room. In place of the drab, dark decor, a cheery crimson wallpaper has taken its place. The piano still sits off to one corner, but now a set of furniture in a deeper red sits in place of the faded floral couches that had once been there. The mirror over the mantle has been replaced with a portrait of a Quidditch pitch, a game happening in full swing.
Perhaps the biggest difference is that it looks lived-in. There are even a few books scattered on an end table and a blanket strewn across one end of a couch. Harry makes a grand gesture once he opens the door.
"Make yourself comfortable. It's definitely better than last time, right?"
"It's wonderful, Harry! It's like we've stepped into a completely different house - or maybe a home." She turns towards him before dropping herself into a comfy red armchair.
"Very Gryffindor of you."
She hasn't seen this much red in a while, but it works for the space. It's cosy and lived in and welcoming, instead of being a proper lad's mancave. She's proud about what he can do.
"Ah, this is so comfy... What else have you had a chance to change?"
"Definitely better than flowers and all that black wood." He grins, pleased with himself. It has been a lot of work, but it's amazing what a few charms and a good do-it-yourself book will do."
He sits down on the couch, kicking his feet up. Harry passes her one of the bottles, its cork already removed. "I've done my room, which, y'know, was Sirius' mum's. I left the other ones alone. Got rid of some of the portraits and the really morbid display of house elves. Dunno what else I'll do, guess I'll wait and see."
"God, that thing was atrocious, I'm so glad you got rid of the display fast. Those poor elves, I just..." She shakes her head, and takes a long drink straight out of bottle like some feral animal. It's been a long day - and she's been in need of a chance to relax, herself.
Thirst sated, she holds the bottle out for him if he wants to take it.
"You could do the other rooms, you know? Have a study for yourself - well, an office or whatever - and guest bedrooms that aren't in shambles from thirty years ago," she suggests. "I could help you with the library!"
"Grimmauld Place feels better getting rid of it all. Obviously it's not an overnight fix, but it's keeping me busy, y'know?" He takes the bottle back and has a drink. Harry makes a face at the bitter taste but endured. Not really the best one in the collection, but it would do. Lying there, he mulls over her words with a smile.
"Yeah, alright, you can handle the library. You know I don't have enough books to need a whole library, right?"
"Yeah, I know," she answers, waving his concerns off dismissively. "But just because you don't have enough books now doesn't mean you won't need one eventually - and a home needs books, Harry."
"Does it? I've been doing alright so far you know." He pauses, picturing something of a corner bookcase. "I guess it couldn't hurt? What did you have in mind?"
"It's not exactly my house, Harry," she reminds him, a bit bashful. "I was going to fill the shelves or help you clean up the old one, if there's anything left to clean?"
"Not really? I've been mostly doing it some evenings after work or on weekends. It gives me something interesting to do." It's helped take his mind off work and the rut he's found himself in. Seeing the changes from what Grimmauld Place looked like during the war and what it's turned into, Harry can't help but feel proud of it. He's done that.
Heaving a sigh, he looks lazily over at Hermione sitting in one of his favorite chairs.
She lets a small, sad smile slip at that - this is what fills his time with joy? Cleaning an old and definitely cursed (in places) house after work?
She has to bite her tongue not to give him the same spiel of how he doesn't have to keep saving the world, and how he's done enough for wizarding Britain and doesn't owe them his inner peace even now.
He's giving her a look that he might not realise reaches deep, has the flutter in her belly startle into a frenzy all over again.
She clears her throat.
"Get some pen and paper." No quills in this house, they die like men - men with a loyalty card to Paperchase.
Hey, it's not as pathetic as it sounds! He gets a space that is thoroughly his and he got there with his own two hands and a bit of magic and paint. The cleaning bit is a drag, but Kreacher is definitely too old for all of that and wasn't all that helpful to begin with so.. there's that.
He still goes out to the pub or watches Quidditch matches every once in a while! He even read a muggle novel recently! Well. He started it.
Knowing when an order is an order, Harry groans as he makes himself stand up and retrieve a notebook and pen. Pens are superior in every way and his hand doesn't get stained with ink. When would the wizarding world learn the superiority of the ink pen?? Instead of moving back to the sofa, he sits at the foot of Hermione's chair, resting his back against the arm she's not occupying.
"Bullet points first," she murmurs, shifting in her seat so that she can take the bottle for another sip, and curl up in the armchair in a way that lets her touch him.
Looking over his shoulder while he writes is the main goal, sure, but she also has her hand right there and his hair is so nice to play with that she has to.
"The bullets might have to be a resume to begin with, we can do the cover letter after."
"Okay, bullet points. I got Outstanding in Defense Against the Dark Arts on my OWLs?" Sure, he didn't take his NEWTs, but he'd gone right into Auror training after the war was over and the dust had settled. Did he need those? Oh gods, does he need to take them? There's no way he'd pass if he took them today.
Instead of working himself up over that, he lets out a breath and clears his throat. Okay, moving on. "Bullet two: I taught a group of twenty-five students defensive spells in secret in Fifth Year. Bullet three: I defeated Voldemort. And that's about all I've got."
How did one even put together a resumé? This seems silly. Not that he thinks it should just be given to him, he doesn't want special treatment! He just doesn't know how to put all his skills down on paper. What's important and what isn't? He's distracted by the hand playing with his hair and hums contentedly, letting his head rest against the chair's arm while he thinks.
He pushes his glasses up his face while he rubs at his eyes. "This is exhausting already."
She rolls her eyes at that and points out: "That's because you're being too self-deprecating and not drunk enough."
While she has him leaning his head back, she holds the bottle out.
"Here, have another sip." She looks at the abysmally short list, while still twirling his hair around her fingers, a pleasant buzz settling in now. "You know that cleverness and books are not all that vital for defense against the dark arts, and furthermore you've done more than those three things.
"But put the Auror training in first, dates included. It wouldn't be the first time an Auror taught the class and you know it."
If a Death Eater disguised as an Auror could be their professor for a year, Harry would be stellar.
True enough, he wasn't drunk enough, so he takes the invitation and steals the bottle back, taking a few healthy mouthfuls before handing it back and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Her fingers twirling about his hair give him the mental note that maybe he should get a haircut sometime soon, but it feels so pleasant... maybe he shouldn't?
"You don't think so?" He turns back to his notebook and skips a few lines, writing down his Auror training and the date he started.
"Er, what about searching for the Horcruxes? Problem-solving and perseverance?"
With her hands free, she shifts in the armchair - notices with some pleasure that it's a fairly large one, because she can curl herself up in it properly, so really this room begs to be a reading room - and comes to rest her cheek on one of the armrests so she can read over shoulder better.
It may feel like she's draped over his shoulders like a scarf, her knees on one side of his head, toes tucked into the space between armrest and seat cushion. It may feel like that because she's left her hand where it was, between idly toying with his hair and idly rubbing the nape of his neck.
"That would be for sure something to include, but Harry - I'm talking about Dumbledore's Army specifically. You have taught students defensive charms back when Umbridge wasn't allowing it, and it should not have been up to you to teach that sort of thing but you did it so well regardless. Oh, include that fact that you can encourage students to persevere, and you like helping them thrive or achieve their potential."
She looks at him now, noticing finally that she's sprawled with her face very close to his face, and is rendered speechless by how utterly beautiful his eyes are.
Hermione-scarf aside, he's appreciative of the warmth at his back, even if it's imagined. It could be the wine in his belly with only a few biscuits or the fact that his best friend is curled behind him, her hands toying with the hair at his nape causing him to break out in goosebumps. His feelings for Hermione feel so tangled and complicated, and it just feels so good that it's the pair of them here. He kind of doesn't want to finish the task at hand because it means they'll have to move.
"It might not have been my responsibility, but I'd have felt worse if I hadn't." Leaving so many without knowing how to defend themselves hadn't sat right, even putting all his previous experiences with defenselessness into a dark recess. He quickly makes another bullet point and scrawls Dumbledore's Army next to it with what Hermione said. It had felt good teaching everyone and seeing their progress, watching them gain confidence in what they could do.
He'd gotten so lost in his head that Hermione's voice close to his ear startled him, his heart jackrabbiting against his ribcage. Turning toward her, he wets his lips trying to gather those scattered thoughts as he takes in how pretty her hair looks today. He hadn't mentioned it earlier. Looks nice.
"Erm.." Harry clears his throat. "I've got nothing at home. Takeaway fine?"
She catches that quick gesture, and catches her breath. The wine has muddled her sensed just a bit, only made things fuzzy in places, and yet the proximity of Harry's face, of her lips to Harry's lips, is crystal clear. Stands out.
She blinks, his nonsensical question confusing her.
"I didn't ask about food," she murmurs.
She should pull away before she embarasses herself like an utter fool. Hermione Granger is not an utter fool.
Oh, he's being put on the spot again and those intense brown eyes are on him and she's so close--why hadn't he noticed the curve of her nose before? He can feel the embarrassed flush creeping up his neck and his face feels almost unbearably warm.
He clears his throat before he dares speak, knowing his voice would waver. He knows he's being given an opportunity here, fix what he said and circle it back to.. what? How he'd very much like to close the distance between them? How he thinks her lips will taste like wine?
Get over yourself, blockhead. Don't screw up the best thing you've already got.
Instead, he lets himself down and averts his gaze to the notepad. "Right, sorry. I uh. Think this might be it?"
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It's times like this that he realizes just how much he's missed her company and goes back to those desolate times when it was just the two of them in a tent and stressed beyond belief as they did this thing more significant than all of them.
He laughs in surprise at the idea of it all, though he can't help his tone from becoming a tad self-deprecating. "Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? Can't say that teaching a few defensive spells to twenty-five students in a secret room really qualifies me."
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So she lingers, because sometimes there's a dumb part of her that wonders if they will ever break this game of emotional chicken they've been secretly hiding from each other. Or, if it's one-sided, she'll just take it to her grave.
"You laugh, but I know McGonagall has to do with a board of directors still and I'm sure they'd all be charmed about the idea and appeal of Harry Potter teaching their children spells." After a beat, she adds, mercilessly: "You might have to do more than Expelliarmus with them, though."
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"I-- Excuse me!!!" Harry gapes, flabbergasted and sputtering. Maybe a little embarrassed as Hermione rightfully takes the piss. He can feel the warmth in the tips of his ears, but he's not really offended. "Watch your tone, 'Mione, or I'll have to Expelliarmus that tea right out of your hand. It'd be a shame, that."
He huffs, rolling his eyes as he gently kicks her foot with his own. "I'll just send an owl, shall I? 'Dear Headmistress McGonnagal, bet you thought you were finally rid of me, but actually just wondering if you had any open positions a few weeks before the school year because that's exactly what you want to deal with on short notice.' That'll go over nicely and she won't at all be annoyed by it."
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She wants to flash him an amused grin. "Oh come on, you have to try now. We could delight all the student body with our continuously taking the piss out of each other like this. It's practically tradition that the Defense and Potions professors don't get along, you know?"
She has a brilliant idea now: "Let's get drunk and write that letter. I'll help you win your case."
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"And what makes you think the current Defense professor is going to just give up their post?" His eyebrows raise at the idea of getting drunk, but less so about the thought of writing an embarrassing letter to the Headmistress begging for a job when he's already got one that's serving him well. He just needs to be a bit more grateful is all. How many people would kill to be in his position at the Ministry?
But he can't deny the idea is taking root in his head. "I've got some wine in the storeroom if you like. We can take it up to what used to be the drawing room. Give you the opportunity to see the changes."
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But this wasn't planned. Just serendipitous. The longer she thinks about it, the more the idea has value.
"Alright, let's do that." She's done with her tea. "I'm done with my tea. And I haven't had a drink in months, with the way the Great Hall is."
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It does give him something to think about as he leads Hermione past the storeroom to grab a few bottles of wine (just in case it doesn't sate their thirst) and to the newly-decorated drawing room. In place of the drab, dark decor, a cheery crimson wallpaper has taken its place. The piano still sits off to one corner, but now a set of furniture in a deeper red sits in place of the faded floral couches that had once been there. The mirror over the mantle has been replaced with a portrait of a Quidditch pitch, a game happening in full swing.
Perhaps the biggest difference is that it looks lived-in. There are even a few books scattered on an end table and a blanket strewn across one end of a couch. Harry makes a grand gesture once he opens the door.
"Make yourself comfortable. It's definitely better than last time, right?"
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"Very Gryffindor of you."
She hasn't seen this much red in a while, but it works for the space. It's cosy and lived in and welcoming, instead of being a proper lad's mancave. She's proud about what he can do.
"Ah, this is so comfy... What else have you had a chance to change?"
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He sits down on the couch, kicking his feet up. Harry passes her one of the bottles, its cork already removed. "I've done my room, which, y'know, was Sirius' mum's. I left the other ones alone. Got rid of some of the portraits and the really morbid display of house elves. Dunno what else I'll do, guess I'll wait and see."
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Thirst sated, she holds the bottle out for him if he wants to take it.
"You could do the other rooms, you know? Have a study for yourself - well, an office or whatever - and guest bedrooms that aren't in shambles from thirty years ago," she suggests. "I could help you with the library!"
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"Yeah, alright, you can handle the library. You know I don't have enough books to need a whole library, right?"
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Heaving a sigh, he looks lazily over at Hermione sitting in one of his favorite chairs.
"So. About this letter..."
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She has to bite her tongue not to give him the same spiel of how he doesn't have to keep saving the world, and how he's done enough for wizarding Britain and doesn't owe them his inner peace even now.
He's giving her a look that he might not realise reaches deep, has the flutter in her belly startle into a frenzy all over again.
She clears her throat.
"Get some pen and paper." No quills in this house, they die like men - men with a loyalty card to Paperchase.
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He still goes out to the pub or watches Quidditch matches every once in a while! He even read a muggle novel recently! Well. He started it.
Knowing when an order is an order, Harry groans as he makes himself stand up and retrieve a notebook and pen. Pens are superior in every way and his hand doesn't get stained with ink. When would the wizarding world learn the superiority of the ink pen?? Instead of moving back to the sofa, he sits at the foot of Hermione's chair, resting his back against the arm she's not occupying.
"Right. Bullet points or just wing it?"
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Looking over his shoulder while he writes is the main goal, sure, but she also has her hand right there and his hair is so nice to play with that she has to.
"The bullets might have to be a resume to begin with, we can do the cover letter after."
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Instead of working himself up over that, he lets out a breath and clears his throat. Okay, moving on. "Bullet two: I taught a group of twenty-five students defensive spells in secret in Fifth Year. Bullet three: I defeated Voldemort. And that's about all I've got."
How did one even put together a resumé? This seems silly. Not that he thinks it should just be given to him, he doesn't want special treatment! He just doesn't know how to put all his skills down on paper. What's important and what isn't? He's distracted by the hand playing with his hair and hums contentedly, letting his head rest against the chair's arm while he thinks.
He pushes his glasses up his face while he rubs at his eyes. "This is exhausting already."
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While she has him leaning his head back, she holds the bottle out.
"Here, have another sip." She looks at the abysmally short list, while still twirling his hair around her fingers, a pleasant buzz settling in now. "You know that cleverness and books are not all that vital for defense against the dark arts, and furthermore you've done more than those three things.
"But put the Auror training in first, dates included. It wouldn't be the first time an Auror taught the class and you know it."
If a Death Eater disguised as an Auror could be their professor for a year, Harry would be stellar.
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"You don't think so?" He turns back to his notebook and skips a few lines, writing down his Auror training and the date he started.
"Er, what about searching for the Horcruxes? Problem-solving and perseverance?"
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It may feel like she's draped over his shoulders like a scarf, her knees on one side of his head, toes tucked into the space between armrest and seat cushion. It may feel like that because she's left her hand where it was, between idly toying with his hair and idly rubbing the nape of his neck.
"That would be for sure something to include, but Harry - I'm talking about Dumbledore's Army specifically. You have taught students defensive charms back when Umbridge wasn't allowing it, and it should not have been up to you to teach that sort of thing but you did it so well regardless. Oh, include that fact that you can encourage students to persevere, and you like helping them thrive or achieve their potential."
She looks at him now, noticing finally that she's sprawled with her face very close to his face, and is rendered speechless by how utterly beautiful his eyes are.
Christ, Hermione. Get a hold of yourself.
"Any other thoughts?"
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"It might not have been my responsibility, but I'd have felt worse if I hadn't." Leaving so many without knowing how to defend themselves hadn't sat right, even putting all his previous experiences with defenselessness into a dark recess. He quickly makes another bullet point and scrawls Dumbledore's Army next to it with what Hermione said. It had felt good teaching everyone and seeing their progress, watching them gain confidence in what they could do.
He'd gotten so lost in his head that Hermione's voice close to his ear startled him, his heart jackrabbiting against his ribcage. Turning toward her, he wets his lips trying to gather those scattered thoughts as he takes in how pretty her hair looks today. He hadn't mentioned it earlier. Looks nice.
"Erm.." Harry clears his throat. "I've got nothing at home. Takeaway fine?"
Smooth, Harry. Real smooth. King of smooth, even.
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She blinks, his nonsensical question confusing her.
"I didn't ask about food," she murmurs.
She should pull away before she embarasses herself like an utter fool. Hermione Granger is not an utter fool.
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He clears his throat before he dares speak, knowing his voice would waver. He knows he's being given an opportunity here, fix what he said and circle it back to.. what? How he'd very much like to close the distance between them? How he thinks her lips will taste like wine?
Get over yourself, blockhead. Don't screw up the best thing you've already got.
Instead, he lets himself down and averts his gaze to the notepad. "Right, sorry. I uh. Think this might be it?"
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shhh I missed them too
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